Transplant Diaries … countdown to surgery
Nicola was 38 years old when she received her kidney transplant in December 2019. In an extract from her transplant diaries, these are some of her memories of the journey before …
I was lucky all my family offered to donate a kidney to me, siblings, parents, husband – and even an uncle. But as testament to how much the process is scrutinised it was only my brother who was deemed right to donate at that time.
In spite of this, he still wasn’t considered a ‘good enough’ match; and so we were asked to go into the paired pool scheme to instead get a ‘great match’.
The process of the paired pool scheme allows a recipient and donor to ‘swap’ kidneys with another pair of donors and recipients, in order to receive a more compatible kidney. The ‘matching’ process is run 4 times a year by NHS Blood and Transplant, to try and work out the best combination of potential transplants.
Being a younger transplant patient and at greater risk of needing multiple transplants in my lifetime, this was considered to be my best option.
We were delighted to be matched in our first run of the paired pool scheme, Summer 2019.
Sadly, this chain broke down
The disappointment is difficult to describe. I had prepped work, my brother had wound down his business, we had begun to organise the logistical challenge of childcare for my two girls, 5 and 9 at the time. But due to circumstances beyond control, it was not to be.
Back in the October run, we went.
Luck struck again with another match. This time it was even better for me and with only one other pair. Paired pools can run in up to pairs of three we were told, but this comes with much more risk of something breaking down.
The disappointment of the previous run however meant I struggled with allowing myself to believe it would happen.
It’s an odd process feeling you should be excited about ‘major surgery’ and what life might feel like after.
My coping process was good old-fashioned denial
In December 2019, the date arrived for our surgery – 8 days before Christmas! Being a mum of two young girls, I had left nothing to chance with Santa. All presents were wrapped and labelled with strict instructions for my husband should he need them. I even had an easy cook Christmas dinner on order for my mum to collect on Christmas Eve.
The process for getting everything ready for a paired pool surgery will never not astound me. My kidney was coming from Scotland, and I was in Bristol. I was told it would fly via a plane, then via a motor-bike to Southmead to reach me in good time.
The effort of the whole team made me feel so special. Our NHS staff are truly so amazing. We were told ‘knife to skin’ for both donors happens at exactly the same moment, so no one is left without a kidney. Luckily no one was.
By mid-morning we’d heard the surgery had gone well for both my brother and my donor and my kidney was on its way. I remember the coordinator telling me it was coming with cards for us from the recipient and donor… “Cards! I didn’t write a card! I didn’t know that was protocol!”
She laughed and told me I’d have plenty of time after to send my thanks.
Now we just needed it to arrive, still my nerves did not let me believe this would really happen. The hours ticked by incredibly slowly on the ward. I did manage to visit my brother in recovery. He was doing well and a little too chirpy on his pain meds.
Despite giving kidneys, sibling irritation will still clearly be a thing it seems
Late afternoon, my kidney arrived. I heard my transplant nurse squealing excitedly in the corridor and pointing… “it’s here!”
And there it was, my kidney in a box.
Still things to wait for, the kidney next needed to be checked – still I couldn’t believe it. But as things were ramping up, quick wash, gown on, some meds I can’t remember, this could really be it …
The porters arrived and I managed a quick wave and blow of a kiss to my brother in his bay, and down I was wheeled.
As I was wheeled into the room there was my surgeon. “I’ve checked your kidney”, he said “and it’s beautiful”.
“Beautiful, thank goodness”
This really was it
My surgery slumber followed, and I’m pleased to say all went well. But as you can imagine, there’s so much more to this story and my journey after but those are for another time.
In the meantime, you might be wondering what my card said from my donor. Well, it simply said “take care of my kidney please”. And whilst those who’ve travelled this path know it isn’t easy and far from story end, that is something I do every day.
Which is … to take care of that kidney
Last Reviewed on 14 May 2024